What Do I Know of Holy?

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

So what do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life its name?

What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?

What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?

“What Do I Know of Holy?” -Addison Road

Hi, I’m Hannah and I run this blog. Yeah, I know, been quite a while. But here we go again!

This song has had one killer impact on my life ever since it debuted on the radio. This song is so much of what I’ve felt for so long. Not in a bad way, but in a, “Honestly, what do I know of you?” sort of way. Sure, I can read the Bible and go to church all I want. I can wear the Jesus get-up. I can hang out with the right crowd. I can choose a major that has the word “ministry” in it. I can get up and give a devotional that makes people think. I can serve in a church. I can talk someone through a crisis and tell them to lean on God. But what do I even know of holy?!?! I can do all those things time and time again, but God, what do I know of you?!!! This question has been one that has slammed me against a spiritual wall time and time again. That question is so.. profound, isn’t it? When you think about what you know ABOUT God, you might know quite a bit. But what do you know OF him? I feel like as Christians, we compete against each other to see who can be the most profound, who can answer questions about God the fastest and most accurate, on and on. You know what I’m talkin’ ’bout. We race to get our doctorates in theology. We race and compete to write the best books, the ones that will leave the most profound impact on others. Fantastic. Lovely. But what do we know of the love of God? We know nothing! We might know a little bit, but in comparison to how great, how perfect his love is, we know absolutely nothing. We equate his love to be something that a human being can give us and it can’t even be compared to a human’s love. Perfect love. The thought of it completely blows my mind out of the water.

This week has been a very rough week for me in so many ways. Sunday I found out Bryce was in a wreck which instantly sent me into panic mode. I don’t know what I would have done if that kid wouldn’t have made it through it. He’s still like a little brother to me. This summer brought enough death. No more for a while. Ever since Sunday, things have just been.. well, yeah. Rough is the only word for it. Academically it’s been a long week. Relationally it’s been a VERY long and VERY tough week. Emotionally it’s been a screwed up week. Spiritually it’s been a confusing week. Physically it’s been a .. weird week (wasn’t quite sure how else to finish that). It’s 1:30 AM and I should really be in bed, but I can’t sleep although I’m completely exhausted. I just can’t get past that question.. Are you fire? Are you fury? Are you sacred? Are you beautiful? Lord, what do I know? What do I know of Holy? Ever have those times where you just want to crawl up in God’s lap and just let him hold you? That’s been this week. Somehow I’ve managed to mess plenty up this week and I just wanna crawl under the covers of my bed and not come out for a very long time. But it’s okay! These weeks are good things I think! Sometimes.. =P Right now it’s a good thing. A bad week every now and then doesn’t mean the world’s ending.. It’s a reminder that life isn’t perfect. =P But I AM ready for things to get better. I suppose it didn’t help that the weather was more or less horrible all week. Ah well. Anyway…

Right now I’m reading through all of Paul’s letters. I’ve never actually read them in order and all at once. Yes, I’ve read them all, but I’m just drawn to a lot of Paul’s teachings right now, although I feel like Peter now more than ever. Completely stubborn, headstrong, and so passionate he gets himself in trouble, dangit! I’m not trying to brag of any amount of passion. What I’m saying is, I’m quite prone to doing stupid things right now. =P I guess you could say stupid things with good intentions. I’m just so hungry and thirsty for knowledge and wisdom of who this God is that I serve, that I’ve decided to dedicate my life to. Everything in me craves to look him square in the eyes. I want to see his face, just as Moses did. It leaves me awe struck to know that Moses couldn’t even look at his face.. God had to cover his face when God passed by him, because he would have died otherwise. I think that answers the “Are you sacred? Are you beautiful?” line. It’s just so frustrating to think about how so many people, with myself at the top of the list, can dig and dig for answers, but it makes no difference if we know nothing about God’s heart, his love for us, and his divine holiness.

So what do I know of you who spoke me into motion? Where have I even stood but the shore along your ocean?
Are you fire? Are you fury? Are you sacred? Are you beautiful?
Lord, what do I know?
What do I know of Holy?

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